My wife’s birthday was Sunday and I decided to make her a special treat. I bought the family a soft-serve ice cream maker last Christmas and we hadn’t used it yet, so I decided to try it. She loves mint chocolate chip ice cream and we happened to have all the required ingredients to make it (fat, sugar, mint extract, and food coloring).

It was the first time I used this ice cream maker, so there was a bit of a learning curve. The ice cream maker consists of a bowl that is frozen prior to adding the ingredients and an auger and agitating arm that constantly moves through the ice cream and keeps it soft while it’s freezing. I put in all the ingredients and turned the machine on. So far, so good. I then added the chocolate chips, which jammed up the auger, popped the top off the machine and spewed green ice cream ingredients all the way up my cabinet and onto the ceiling.

After a cleanup of the sticky mess, I got all the chocolate chips out and started the process over again. This time, I added the chips as I dispensed the ice cream. It turned out great – Sara loved my ice cream and Olivia ate two bowls before telling me I was the best dad in the whole world. Amelia kept begging for more, but she’ll beg for dog food too if you let her have any of it, so that is not necessarily an enthusiastic endorsement. Overall, it was a truly triumphant dad moment.

Then came the cleanup.

The freezer bowl, auger, and agitating arm were filled with leftover ice cream that didn’t come out of the dispenser. I started by licking the auger and arm clean. Sara was in the living room with the girls while I was in the kitchen telling her what a mess this was and how difficult the cleanup would be. Little did she know my “cleanup” primarily consisted of eating more ice cream.

With the auger and arm licked clean, I moved on to the freezer bowl. This metallic bowl spent 24 hours in our deep freeze prior to making the ice cream. Blinded by the delicious combination of fat and sugar, I mindlessly went from licking the other machine parts to licking the ice cream out of the bowl… the metal bowl… the one that I took out of the deep freeze only a few minutes ago.

Big mistake.

Remember Flick from A Christmas Story? You know, the kid that got his tongue stuck to the flag pole. That was me, only instead of a flag pole I had an ice cream freezer stuck to my tongue. Fortunately, I was standing at the kitchen sink and had an endless supply of warm water.

I guess I need to be more cautious at home. If I’m not careful, I’ll shoot my eye out!

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