Everyone Poops

There will be no metaphorical tie-ins with today’s posting.  Although I could think of some applications, this is just a posting about a subject that we all deal with but never discuss.

 

As the parent of two children and a dog owner, it seems that I spend an inordinate amount of time dealing with poop – changing my one year old’s diaper, helping my four year old after she takes care of business, getting the shovel out for my chocolate lab two or three times a day (I think her dog food is made from little nuggets of Fiber One bars).  My oldest is now at the age where she can even carry out in-depth, philosophical conversations on poop.

 

“Everybody poops, daddy.”

 

“Yes they do.”

 

“I like to go poopie.”

 

“That’s good, Olivia.”

 

“I want to poop in the yard like Maggie.”

 

“Huh?”

 

You probably didn’t want to read a poop-posting and I apologize if you are reading this on your lunch break, but last Wednesday was simply pooptastic.  It started in a restaurant with my family.  It was a pretty quiet night and with our two little girls, we were the center of attention in the dining area.

 

Twice during our meal Olivia loudly proclaimed, “I tooted!”  This was followed by, “I need to go potty.”

 

She does this at restaurants occasionally just to get to walk around and see all the other people, so we asked if she really had to go.

 

“Yep.  I have to go poopie!”

 

…stares from around the room.

 

Once we got home, the girls needed a bath.  Both were in the tub when I noticed an underwater mine floating near the baby’s stern.  Of course this terrified Olivia, who pointed with wide eyes screaming, “POOP!”

 

I handed the girls to my wife, who relocated them to another tub while I bleached the bathtub and the four thousand bath toys that were in it.  Afterwards, Sara was getting the girls dressed while I rinsed bath toy number 3,998.

 

That’s when I heard Sara say, “Amelia, nooooo!”

 

Apparently, the task was not completed in the tub.  Amelia was crawling around naked while my wife got Olivia dressed.  During her naked crawling, Amelia made a few more deposits on the carpet (four to be exact – she must have gotten into the dog food) .  Of course, this went unnoticed until she crawled through one of them, leaving a poop trail on the floor.

 

Like I said… pooptastic.

 

Principle of the Path

I am facilitating a study for a group of college students in which we are going through Andy Stanley’s The Principle of the Path.  Basically stated, the principle is as follows:

Direction – not intent – determines our destination.

When we consider this in terms of navigation, it is pretty simple and straightforward.  If we choose to follow a particular road, we will go where that road leads.  Regardless of our race, color, creed, gender, education, or needs, a road leads where it leads without considering the one who is traveling it.

If we get lost, our problems do not end when we discover that we are on the wrong road.  When we stop and ask for directions, we don’t need someone to tell us that we are lost.  We need to discover which roads lead to our preferred destination.

As obvious as this principle is, we see it ignored all the time.  People who eat junk and don’t exercise end up with poor health.  People who spend more money than they earn end up in financial distress (unless they qualify for a bail out).  You get the idea.  It seems that humans have a tendency to choose paths that lead in directions that we don’t want to go.

Here’s the kicker – we’re always on a path.  Right now, you are following the path that you have chosen and you will eventually go where that path leads.  Where is you path leading you?

 

Meet Your New Teacher

A while back I put up a posting about establishing a Business as Missions enterprise.  I have since enrolled in school to complete my MBA and now another piece of the puzzle is falling into place.

I have always thought that I would enjoy teaching.  The thing I enjoyed most in my corporate career was conducting training and teaching.  Though I never really did much to cultivate this interest, it blossomed again on my trips to Belarus to teach English.  Upon returning from the last trip, I even remarked to Sara how much I enjoy teaching.

I thought about it some more and decided to seek out a career in teaching.  Even though I lack a teaching certificate, I thought that with my engineering background and the teacher shortage that we always heard about prior to the recession, I would be a shoe-in to teach high school Calculus or Physics.  Well… cracking the shell of the public school system is not exactly easy without a teaching certificate in Georgia.

This is where I finally put two and two together.  I am already planning on going back to school for a Master’s degree in business and there are plenty of teaching opportunities at the college level.  Hey, it couldn’t hurt to look.  Shortly after this realization, I found out I was on our church’s budget and finance team with an accounting professor at a local college.  She told me about a possible teaching opportunity in the math department.  This was only a couple of weeks before the fall semester was to begin, so I was really interviewing more for the spring.

I didn’t really know what my chances were, but for the first time in a really long time I was very excited about a new direction in my career.  I got a call from the chair of the math department last week.  Due to heavy demand, they are adding a class and beginning this fall (next Monday actually), I will be teaching a college mathematics course.  My goal is to eventually become a tenure-track professor, but I have a lot more schooling to undergo before that can occur.

I think this will be a great compliment to my desire to establish a BAM.  I will get to leverage my educational background and contacts to help others establish businesses and I’ll get some great real world experience that will help me teach my students.  I guess I’m writing this to let you know that although it may take a while and there may be many roadblocks, it is worth the effort to keep plugging away in your search to discover your mission.  Too many people get discouraged and give up.  They settle on doing what is familiar to them day after day and dreaming about retirement.

God has a purpose for your life.  Ignoring that purpose for the sake of your present comfort will never allow you to find significance.

 

Running the Race

I had my first 5k of the season last Saturday. Based on the considerable loss of stomach contents as I battled a stomach bug earlier in the week, I wasn’t sure what to expect.

 

I started running regularly about a year ago. Back then, my main goal was simply to finish the race and not get beat by too many girls. After a couple of races, I found that I was becoming more competitive and started taking it a little more seriously. I also found out that there are some very fast girl runners and I can’t even hope to keep up with them. I finished last year with second and third place finishes in my age group. Emboldened by my improving race times, I went into Saturday’s race with two objectives:

1. Finish in under 23 minutes

2. Win 1st place in my age group

 

Although my personal best time was 23:20, I thought beating 23 minutes was a reasonable objective. The feasibility of reaching the second goal was a little more difficult to predict. You never know who will show up in your age group, so you could run your personal best and not even place. Alternatively, you could have a horrible outing but still go home with a medal if the others in your age group are competitively challenged.

 

I had a good day. I ran a new personal best at 22:40 and won my age group. As a side note, my time of 22:40 is quite respectable but don’t be too impressed – the overall winners (typically high school cross country runners) are usually below 18 minutes. By the time I cross the finish line they are already on their way to their second race of the day.

 

So… I ran a personal best and I won my group. Now what?

 

I guess I could always shoot for a faster time, but I realize that I’m not getting any younger and eventually those times will start heading the other direction. I could set a new goal of getting an overall win, but I’m not insane. I am very much a goal-oriented person, so just running for the sake of running is not an option. So what will my new goal be?

 

I realized my running is falling into the same pattern as my professional career that I wrote about in my book. My race times are taking the place of my salary and my finishing position is taking the place of my job title. It’s amazing how pervasive this addiction to success can be. While there’s nothing wrong with aspirations, when I have a goal I feel like I HAVE to accomplish it and I’m not really good with losing.

 

This got me to thinking… while I did win my age group and run below my target time, I didn’t even come close to the overall winner. In that respect, I decisively lost the race. Out there, somewhere, will always be a faster runner, a higher paid manager, a greener lawn, a cleaner house, a smarter student, or a more humble servant. Our primary goal – the one that will bring the most satisfaction – is not be the first person to finish the race. Rather, we should continually assess our lives to make sure that we “run with endurance the race set before us.” I firmly believe that if we are running someone else’s race not even victory will bring fulfillment.

 

Dealing With a Bug

This week’s posting has been cancelled on account of a stomach bug I am still trying to recover from.  It hit me first on Sunday night, then my wife in the middle of the night, then my oldest daughter yesterday.  We’re all doing much better today, but were pretty miserable yesterday.

I’ll spare you the details, but I’ll just say I’m not very good at being sick.  Sara said I sounded like a cat being strangled throughout the night.

 

Bragging on My Girls

This past weekend was perhaps the most beautiful weekend I have ever experienced in July. Typical summer days here in Hotlanta hover around 95 degrees and are humid enough to allow fish to breathe on land. This weekend; however, was more like October – 75 degrees, dry air, blue skies… the perfect weekend for a hike.

My family went to Raven Cliff Falls in northern GA for a nice little 5 mile hike. Amelia got a free ride in the backpack, but Olivia hiked the entire way – all 5 miles and she is only 3 years old!

Me and the girls

Sara and Olivia - I honestly don't know where Olivia got this new pose

Yeah, I’m a proud papa. The scary part is that we almost didn’t make the trip because I thought there was no way that both girls would be so good on a 3 hour hike. I fully expected to get to the falls and have to carry both girls back.

Cooling off the piggies in a mountain stream

Future Hiker

I know I will never forget this trip.  I think the girls will look back on it fondly as well (at least Olivia will).  Many of you are trying to figure out what to do in the face of reduced hours and layoffs.  Why not do something really important?  Take this economic turmoil and turn it into an opportunity to improve other areas of your life.  Spend time with your family, get in shape, volunteer, do the things that you always wanted to do but never had time for back when you had your nose to the grindstone.

 

The Way You Make Me Feel

Two lyrical titles in a row… Today’s posting was going to be about how I am weary of the glorification of Michael Jackson, his television media dominance, and the memorial service, which was filled with enough hyperbole to make a geometry teacher giddy, but I realized by posting on this, I would be contributing to the very thing I was complaining about.  So, this is another last minute posting.

 

Instead of focusing on the details of the ceremony, I want to focus on how his death affects you.  That right, how has the death of Michael Jackson impacted your life?  Trust me, I’m going somewhere with this.

 

We spend so much of our lives trying to be important.  Whether it is through career success, education, recognition of our volunteer efforts, or the belief that we possess an inner Hollywood actor/rock star/professional athlete/presidential candidate, many of us aspire to do great things. 

 

But what are great things?

 

In terms of recognition and fame, MJ was right up there at the top.  He had world-wide recognition, amazing talent, and celebrity eccentricity, but is your life any different now that he is gone?  Sure there were thousands of people who showed up to mourn his death but what personal impact did he have on your life?

 

Looking at the other end of the spectrum, there are countless mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children, and friends who leave this world anonymous to everyone except those who were close to them.  They may not warrant media attention, huge memorial services, or gold-plated caskets, but their passing has a profound impact on the people in their lives.

 

The point I am trying to make is when we focus on our fame, success, or recognition, we shift our attention to a broad spectrum of people who are only superficially affected by us in order to pump up our own ego while ignoring those on whom we can make a lasting impression.  In order to truly do great things, we sometimes have to forgo opportunities for fame and fortune in order to focus on the people in our lives that are truly influenced by our existence.

 

Let Freedom Ring

 

My apologies to Martina McBride – this week’s will be a very short post because we were traveling over the 4^th of July and I forgot to write anything in advance.  Not only will it be short, but it will be poorly thought out and grammatically incorrect.

 

I recently received an email from one of my English students in Belarus.  He was ecstatic about the fact that he got sponsored to come to the US as an exchange student.  He needs to get a job and he knows about our financial crisis, the horrendous job market, and the possibility of being ostracized as a foreigner, but having the opportunity to come to America is the fulfillment of one of his greatest dreams.

 

Meanwhile, we sit around not even recognizing the opulence of our lifestyle and complain about the things that we are unwilling to take a stand to change. We are still a democracy and many brave men and women put their lives on the line to ensure our freedom.  I sometimes think that the sentiment of some Americans is to passive-aggressively wish that we were a dictatorship so that they could complain about the government without carrying the burden taking action when things don’t go according to plan.  That’s how a democracy works – we get to enjoy freedom, but we are ultimately responsible for change.

 

In my opinion, one of the most anti-American things we can do is not take a stand for the things we believe in.  Wherever you see a need for change, get involved.  Go to meetings, write letters to Congress, and educate yourself on the issues at hand.  Too frequently, we sit around and do nothing because we feel that we are too small to make a difference.  If you ever feel that way, remember this:  it is not the power of our adversaries, but the power that we give them that ultimately defeats us.

 

Lions on the Prowl

In the past few weeks there have been multiple reports of lion sightings in my county.  That’s Hall County, Georgia – we did not move to Zambia.  Although numerous people have reported spotting some sort of large cat to the authorities, there has been no confirmation that an actual lion is on the prowl in northern Georgia.  

 

 

The alleged lion has been blamed for getting into trash (ever hear of raccoons?), killing a horse, and contributing to the financial crisis.  Some of the witnesses swear that what they saw was an African lion.  My guess is that at most it may be a mountain lion or more probably a large Chow with a creative haircut.

 

Here’s the point I want to make:  the local paper has published numerous articles about the lion sightings and lots of people are talking about it, but we’re ignoring some of the real problems and very real terrors that surround us.  In the state of Georgia alone, it is estimated that between 200 and 300 children are trafficked each month!

 

 

At a conference few weeks ago, I listened to Francis Chan speak a little bit about this problem.  Before his talk, his little girl played the piano and sang a song.  He then went on to talk about the success of his latest book Crazy Love.  Despite the huge success of this book, he won’t make a dime from it because he has signed over the royalties to an organization that helps fight human trafficking.

 

 

Francis said that he has gotten a lot of advice from people telling him that he should keep some of the profits in an emergency fund. His response was that the money was going towards an emergency.  Our society is so self-centered, we only consider an atrocity like the trafficking of girls as young as 10 years old an emergency if it happens to someone we know.  What if his little girl who just played the piano was one of the 200 to 300 children trafficked this month?  He would do whatever was necessary to get her back to safety and you would do the same if this happened to someone close to you.

 

 

Sara and I are thinking about getting involved with a group called Street GRACE.  It is “a non-denominational alliance of churches dedicated to supporting, enlarging, and allying with those individuals and organizations working toward eliminating the commercial sexual exploitation of children.”  You can go to their website here.

 

 

I think we need to start paying attention to the real dangers facing us instead of speculating about the monsters under our bed.

 

To Ski or Not to Ski

My previous posting talked about our boat and the need to get a little more adventurous with it.  We did that last week when I went skiing for the first time.  My wife used to ski when she was younger, but hasn’t tried it in about 15 years.  Her first attempt was short-lived, but she got up on the second try and went on for several minutes before deciding that she was done.  You mean you can decide when to stop?

 

My attempts at skiing were a little bit… different.  I’ve never attempted to ski before.  It looks easy enough:  you hold on to a rope and stand up, right?  I made four attempts and actually got up on the third try, which everyone told me was really good.  I don’t know if this encouragement was sincere or pity.  Here’s how it went:

 

Attempt 1:  The boat took off.  I fell down.

 
Attempt 2:  I did what everyone told me not to do – I tried pulling myself up with my arms instead of letting the boat do it for me.  When you do this, your feet shoot forward and you fall.  Since I was trying to muscle my way up, my arms were bent.  When I fell, this put the handle about groin-high with my legs bent in front of me.  My hands let go of the handle but it was trapped between my legs.  Now my back was being dragged across the surface of the water with the handle stuck between my legs.  Neat trick… I meant to do that.  The handle finally pulled through (painfully) and I have two impressive bruises as a souvenir.

 

Attempt 3:  This time I kept my arms straight.  Two groin-high thigh bruises are excellent teaching tools.  I slowly came up and straightened my legs – I was skiing!  The boat built up speed and I started getting comfortable until I shifted my weight too far forward.  With the boat at speed, I actually fell forward and hit the lake face-first.  Remember the “agony of defeat guy” on the opening of ABC’s Wide World of Sports?  I told everyone in the boat that I was fine and it didn’t hurt.  I lied.

 

Attempt 4:  The ski rope sank and I had to swim around for while attempting to locate it.  With skis on, this is exhausting.  Add in the other skiing attempts and my legs were now two columns of Jell-O.  After the boat gathered speed, I tried standing on my wobbly legs only to dip down until my rear hit the water.  I learned that when you do this, all of the water is directed straight to your face.  I also learned that I ski with my mouth open.  I wasn’t giving up.  I got halfway up before dipping down again.  My mouth was still open, but I was tenacious.  I got halfway up again… and dipped back down.  You’d think that I would learn to keep my mouth shut.  With my legs exhausted, I was sort of skimming the surface of the water on my rear – water still directed toward my face, mouth still open.  I’m pretty sure water was shooting out of my ears.  After swallowing a few quarts of lake water and some small aquatic animals, I let go – thus concluded my first skiing trip.

 

Here’s an attempt by attempt analogy of my skiing attempts to life:

 

Attempt 1:  If you’ve never done it before, you probably won’t do well and you won’t look good trying at first.  However, you’ll never get any good at it if you don’t try.

 

Attempt 2:  Skiing is like a lot of things in life.  It requires balance, flexibility, and endurance.  What I lack in balance and flexibility, I try to make up for with strength.  A lot of people do this.  It works for a little while, but you end up exhausted, bruised, and bobbing in the water.  Don’t get me wrong; strength is important, but without balance and flexibility it will lead to failure.

 

Attempt 3:  With persistence, you may see some early success.  This is not the time to get too cavalier because you are still learning.  Continue to learn and acknowledge that you are still learning.

 

Attempt 4:  There is a thin line between tenacity and stupidity – learn to recognize it.  Also, when things aren’t going the way you thought they should, it is sometimes best to keep your mouth shut.