Do You Have the Charisma to Lead?

This is an excerpt from a book I am reading by Seth Godin (Tribes).

Think about the charismatic leaders you’ve encountered.  They might be young or old, rich or poor, black or white, male or female, extroverted or shy.  In fact, the only thing they seem to have in common is that they are leaders.

I think most people have it upside down.  Being charismatic doesn’t make you a leader.  Being a leader makes you charismatic.

There are leaders with speech impediments and a fear of public speaking.  Leaders way down the corporate ladder and leaders with no money or obvious trappings of power.  There are ugly leaders too, so charisma certainly isn’t about being attractive.

It’s easy to give in to your fear and tell yourself that you don’t have what it takes to lead.  Mostly, people give up when they get to the charisma part of the checklist.  “I wasn’t born charismatic, not like those other guys, so I guess I’ll just settle for following.”

The flaw in this reasoning is that those other guys weren’t born charismatic either.  It’s a choice, not a gene.  Many of you have a vision for how things should be, but fail to act on that vision because you are afraid that you don’t have the mo-jo to get it done.  You are afraid you will come up lacking.  This is the birthplace of procrastination and the cradle for a lack of significance.

 

Freedom of Choice?

Our culture is inundated with choices. Want a new TV? Look at how many models are available. Plasma, LCD, or LED… 19”, 60”, or anything in-between… 120 Hz, 240 Hz, 760i, 1080p, 1080i…LG, Samsung, Sharp, Toshiba, Vizio, Sony, Panasonic…and where should we buy it?

Growing up, I had 5 television channels and two of them showed the same thing. Now, I don’t even know how many channels I have. I have to set up my “favorites” on my remote… more choices. If you still need evidence that the number of options available to us has gotten excessive, just take a look at the cereal aisle the next time you go to the supermarket. To make it even more interesting, take a four year-old who has just been watching Nickelodeon.

Not only are there a seemingly infinite number of choices available, but we are daily bombarded with marketing that tells us that there is an option out there somewhere that is just right for us – one that will make us happy. So you better make the right choice, or you’ll end up regretting your decision when you find a better option down the road.

The problem with having so many options and making so many choices is that it can easily lead to analysis paralysis. We want to make the right choice, but there are so many options and we don’t want regret our decision… so we make no choice. We procrastinate.

The same dynamic exists in our careers. I read an article a while back that said the anticipated top 10 in-demand jobs in 2010 didn’t even exist 5 years ago. Think about that. As we have more choices in what to do with our lives, people are increasingly deciding to do nothing – at least nothing significant.

Here’s what I think. Instead of beating yourself up on where you will work, focus on what it is that you were created, gifted, and prepared to do. Guess what – that thing that you were created to do may have nothing to do with your current job, but that doesn’t mean you have to quit your job tomorrow. It just means you have to figure out how to incorporate your mission into your job. Or maybe, just maybe, you were meant to find significance outside of your professional career. What??? A life outside of work? Yep, the most important things you will do, the greatest significance you will find, and the most lasting legacy you leave will probably not be career-related.

 

The Superhero Upstairs

My four year old daughter, Olivia, has been doing some interesting things after we put her to bed at night.  The old routine was for us to take her upstairs, read her one book, say her prayers, give the hugs and kisses, and she would silently drift away.  Not anymore.

In just the past week, I have found her in several interesting situations.  Olivia has had this deal for a few months now where we have to leave her big overhead light on and shut her door when we put her to bed.  I usually go up after an hour or so and find her sound asleep so I open her door and turn out her light.  That hasn’t been the case lately.  She’s been dressing up princess figures until past 11:00, tuning in some sweet jams on her karaoke machine, and playing dress up with her jewelry.

One particular night stands out.  After I walked up the stairs and opened her door I was relieved to find her asleep, but I almost erupted in laughter when I saw her.  She was lying in her bed with a picture of her and her older cousin, Blake, on her lap, adorned with a full complement of necklaces and bracelets, and wearing a cape embroidered with “Princess Olivia”.

I don’t know what motivated this outfit, but I can only imagine that she was dreaming of being a superhero.  Who doesn’t want to be a superhero?  We all pretended to be one when we were kids.  Even adults may watch movies and daydream about what it would be like to be one.  The funny thing is, we daydream about being Superman or Spiderman, yet spend our lives trying to be Clark Kent or Peter Parker.  I omitted Batman because Bruce Wayne would be a significant upgrade for most of us.

Now I realize that as we age, the realities of life begin to erode away at our imaginations as we give in to more “realistic” expectations.  I realize that it may seem more “responsible” to settle for a job with decent benefits and a little security.  I realize that a cape and pair of tights will not enable us to fly, climb buildings, see through walls, or gross $200 million at the box office.  But I also realize that there’s a little girl upstairs who, at least for now, thinks I’m a superhero… and she’s watching.  If I settle for mediocrity – if I limit my existence to the daily routine – she will soon look for a superhero elsewhere.

 

Empty the Tank

 

I competed in another 5K sponsored by my church Saturday and ran personal best (21:53).  Despite consistently improving my times, I noted something interesting during this race… I always feel like there is just a little bit left in the tank.

 

It’s weird because I’ve run enough races now that I know I will think this after I cross the finish line.  With this foreknowledge, I always try be cognizant of my need to push harder during the race.  So I push.  I feel like I’m giving it all I’ve got. 

 

During last weekend’s race, I took longer strides on the downhill portions instead of coasting and I tried to keep my pace up on the uphill portions.  On the last climb, I felt like my legs were turning into jelly, my lungs were on fire, and my breakfast would be presented to the crowd at the finish line.

 

During the race, I felt like I was giving all I had.  But then the race ended.

 

Within one minute of completion, my breathing returned to normal, my legs strengthened, and my breakfast was being comfortably digested.  Just one minute after pushing myself to the limit, I felt like I had more to give.

 

Isn’t this true in so many other areas of our lives?  When we begin to dwell on our discomfort, challenges, or obstacles we can develop a level of self-pity that tells us we deserve a break.  We worked harder than that guy over there, right?

 

George Bernard Shaw said, “I want to be all used up when I die.”  I like that.  Sooner or later, we’re all going to cross the finish line.  I know I don’t want to feel like I left anything in the tank.

 

Meet Your New Teacher

A while back I put up a posting about establishing a Business as Missions enterprise.  I have since enrolled in school to complete my MBA and now another piece of the puzzle is falling into place.

I have always thought that I would enjoy teaching.  The thing I enjoyed most in my corporate career was conducting training and teaching.  Though I never really did much to cultivate this interest, it blossomed again on my trips to Belarus to teach English.  Upon returning from the last trip, I even remarked to Sara how much I enjoy teaching.

I thought about it some more and decided to seek out a career in teaching.  Even though I lack a teaching certificate, I thought that with my engineering background and the teacher shortage that we always heard about prior to the recession, I would be a shoe-in to teach high school Calculus or Physics.  Well… cracking the shell of the public school system is not exactly easy without a teaching certificate in Georgia.

This is where I finally put two and two together.  I am already planning on going back to school for a Master’s degree in business and there are plenty of teaching opportunities at the college level.  Hey, it couldn’t hurt to look.  Shortly after this realization, I found out I was on our church’s budget and finance team with an accounting professor at a local college.  She told me about a possible teaching opportunity in the math department.  This was only a couple of weeks before the fall semester was to begin, so I was really interviewing more for the spring.

I didn’t really know what my chances were, but for the first time in a really long time I was very excited about a new direction in my career.  I got a call from the chair of the math department last week.  Due to heavy demand, they are adding a class and beginning this fall (next Monday actually), I will be teaching a college mathematics course.  My goal is to eventually become a tenure-track professor, but I have a lot more schooling to undergo before that can occur.

I think this will be a great compliment to my desire to establish a BAM.  I will get to leverage my educational background and contacts to help others establish businesses and I’ll get some great real world experience that will help me teach my students.  I guess I’m writing this to let you know that although it may take a while and there may be many roadblocks, it is worth the effort to keep plugging away in your search to discover your mission.  Too many people get discouraged and give up.  They settle on doing what is familiar to them day after day and dreaming about retirement.

God has a purpose for your life.  Ignoring that purpose for the sake of your present comfort will never allow you to find significance.

 

Running the Race

I had my first 5k of the season last Saturday. Based on the considerable loss of stomach contents as I battled a stomach bug earlier in the week, I wasn’t sure what to expect.

 

I started running regularly about a year ago. Back then, my main goal was simply to finish the race and not get beat by too many girls. After a couple of races, I found that I was becoming more competitive and started taking it a little more seriously. I also found out that there are some very fast girl runners and I can’t even hope to keep up with them. I finished last year with second and third place finishes in my age group. Emboldened by my improving race times, I went into Saturday’s race with two objectives:

1. Finish in under 23 minutes

2. Win 1st place in my age group

 

Although my personal best time was 23:20, I thought beating 23 minutes was a reasonable objective. The feasibility of reaching the second goal was a little more difficult to predict. You never know who will show up in your age group, so you could run your personal best and not even place. Alternatively, you could have a horrible outing but still go home with a medal if the others in your age group are competitively challenged.

 

I had a good day. I ran a new personal best at 22:40 and won my age group. As a side note, my time of 22:40 is quite respectable but don’t be too impressed – the overall winners (typically high school cross country runners) are usually below 18 minutes. By the time I cross the finish line they are already on their way to their second race of the day.

 

So… I ran a personal best and I won my group. Now what?

 

I guess I could always shoot for a faster time, but I realize that I’m not getting any younger and eventually those times will start heading the other direction. I could set a new goal of getting an overall win, but I’m not insane. I am very much a goal-oriented person, so just running for the sake of running is not an option. So what will my new goal be?

 

I realized my running is falling into the same pattern as my professional career that I wrote about in my book. My race times are taking the place of my salary and my finishing position is taking the place of my job title. It’s amazing how pervasive this addiction to success can be. While there’s nothing wrong with aspirations, when I have a goal I feel like I HAVE to accomplish it and I’m not really good with losing.

 

This got me to thinking… while I did win my age group and run below my target time, I didn’t even come close to the overall winner. In that respect, I decisively lost the race. Out there, somewhere, will always be a faster runner, a higher paid manager, a greener lawn, a cleaner house, a smarter student, or a more humble servant. Our primary goal – the one that will bring the most satisfaction – is not be the first person to finish the race. Rather, we should continually assess our lives to make sure that we “run with endurance the race set before us.” I firmly believe that if we are running someone else’s race not even victory will bring fulfillment.

 

The Way You Make Me Feel

Two lyrical titles in a row… Today’s posting was going to be about how I am weary of the glorification of Michael Jackson, his television media dominance, and the memorial service, which was filled with enough hyperbole to make a geometry teacher giddy, but I realized by posting on this, I would be contributing to the very thing I was complaining about.  So, this is another last minute posting.

 

Instead of focusing on the details of the ceremony, I want to focus on how his death affects you.  That right, how has the death of Michael Jackson impacted your life?  Trust me, I’m going somewhere with this.

 

We spend so much of our lives trying to be important.  Whether it is through career success, education, recognition of our volunteer efforts, or the belief that we possess an inner Hollywood actor/rock star/professional athlete/presidential candidate, many of us aspire to do great things. 

 

But what are great things?

 

In terms of recognition and fame, MJ was right up there at the top.  He had world-wide recognition, amazing talent, and celebrity eccentricity, but is your life any different now that he is gone?  Sure there were thousands of people who showed up to mourn his death but what personal impact did he have on your life?

 

Looking at the other end of the spectrum, there are countless mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children, and friends who leave this world anonymous to everyone except those who were close to them.  They may not warrant media attention, huge memorial services, or gold-plated caskets, but their passing has a profound impact on the people in their lives.

 

The point I am trying to make is when we focus on our fame, success, or recognition, we shift our attention to a broad spectrum of people who are only superficially affected by us in order to pump up our own ego while ignoring those on whom we can make a lasting impression.  In order to truly do great things, we sometimes have to forgo opportunities for fame and fortune in order to focus on the people in our lives that are truly influenced by our existence.

 

Back to School

 

Break out the Elmer’s glue and the notebooks; I am officially a student again.  I have enrolled to finish my MBA and will begin classes this August.  I began my MBA ten years ago when we lived in Indiana, but was unable to finish because we moved halfway across the country about once every two years.  Back then, my goal was to get an MBA to better prepare myself for the promotions and raises that were sure to come my way as I charged through the business world.  This time, my aim is quite different.

 

A few months ago, I was approached by someone that I respect greatly and they asked me about partnering with them in an endeavor called “Business as Mission”.  I honestly didn’t know exactly what a Business as Mission was, but said yes anyway because it sounded really cool.

 

Here’s the idea behind it.  While many missions are non-profit and rely on charitable donations to provide basic needs for people (food, water, shelter, healthcare, etc.), Business as Mission (BAM) takes a different approach.  The idea behind BAM is to work with people to help them establish a viable business.  The idea is not to give them a handout, but to teach them how to earn a living.  Since it is a business, it is a for-profit entity with the idea that if you give a dollar to a charity, the people who benefit from it may get 75 cents but if you put a dollar into a BAM, it will generate $1.50 of income.

 

This is not to say that charities and traditional mission work is bad.  They certainly have their place and are superior to BAM in many applications.  However, there are times when people would rather build their future than have it handed to them.  You’ve heard the saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”  Our plan is really more geared toward making the horse thirsty.

 

Best of all, it takes the principles of business and uses them for good rather than greed.  I’m sure there will be many obstacles, frustrations, and failures along the way, but I am confident that this is the type of work where true significance can be found.

 

I’ll keep you posted.

 

Summertime

With an early Memorial Day this year, the unofficial kickoff for the summer season is practically here.  For most people, summer brings back nostalgic memories of their childhood – cookouts, fishing trips, swimming, camping, ballgames, playing outside all day until the sweat and dirt combined to make a paste that, unfortunately, was unable to repel mosquitoes… yeah, I was a dirty little boy… and stinky.

Some of our best memories occurred during those three months when there was no school, no cold weather, and no Nickelodeon West in HD.  These days, there are a lot of things in a child’s life that compete against the formation of those fond memories that you enjoy.  I-Pods, internet, 16 channels of cartoons 24/7, video games, Facebook, Twitter… the list things that distract kids (and adults) from real life goes on and on.  This is why it is imperative that parents be intentional about providing opportunities for kids to discover the world around them and there is no better time than the summer months to do so. 

I know, easier said than done.  While it may seem impossible to pry your kids away from the TV or computer, I believe that their attraction to these forms of entertainment is a learned behavior.  And to a large extent, it is learned from us.

Which is easier – taking a kid hiking and allowing them to explore the infinite wonders of creation or sitting them in front of SpongeBob while we pay the bills?  I don’t want to sound sanctimonious here because I have been guilty of using the digital babysitter numerous times.  I just want to caution you from using a television, video game, or computer as the default method of keeping your children occupied.

 I’m not a child psychologist, but ever since we became parents, I’ve had the opportunity to closely observe child development every day for the past few years.  Here are just a few things I’ve realized:

• Every child is unique (duh)
• Most children would rather do than observe – “Let me try, let me try!”
• Kids are curious and inquisitive
• A child has more energy than the Tasmanian Devil with a Red Bull intravenous drip
• Children are imaginative and creative

Think about what happens if your child spends too much time in front of the tube (RANDOM STUFF ALERT – Calling a TV “the tube” is really a misnomer because hardly any televisions still have picture tubes – it’s sort of like calling a CD a “record”, using Tivo or a DVR to “tape” a show, or “dialing” a phone number).  Sorry… back to the topic.  When a kid spends too much time watching TV, they are not fostering their unique curiosities and passions.  Rather, they are taught to be interested in whatever the latest market analysis and trends indicate that the majority of kids are interested in.  Additionally, any learning that occurs comes from observation rather than participation, there is no outlet for their boundless energy, and their imagination and creativity are stymied.

I know, you’ve heard all of this before.  Now – keep in mind that the purpose of this blog is to help us find significance in our adult lives.  All of those things that are lacking in a child’s life when they spend too much time watching TV or on the computer are lacking in our lives when we make an unfulfilling career the focus of our time and effort – there is no fostering of our unique curiosities and passions, there is no outlet for our imagination and creativity, and we end up being observers in life rather than participants.

Just as television keeps the kids occupied, maybe your career is simply keeping you occupied.  Perhaps it’s time to get a little sweaty and dirty.  Take some time this summer to explore.  Who knows, you may even enjoy it.

 

Cleaning Out the Closet

 

I finally got around to cleaning out my closet a couple of weeks ago.  Determined to be more aggressive this time around, I finally got rid of some of the clothes that I have not worn at all since the previous 3 closet-cleaning efforts. Perhaps it’s because throwing out the old stuff is a mental concession to the fact that time is passing by all too quickly.

 

For example, I found some college t-shirts with the year 1993 on them.  Yes, that means some of the items in my closet are old enough to drive!  My wife gives me a hard time about my antique clothing, but she still has her threadbare Space Camp t-shirt (which she still wears).  I think it is from when she went to Space Camp in the 5^th grade – both a testament to her pack-rat behavior and geekdom.  I won’t reveal what year she was in the 5^th grade, but let’s just say the shirt is starting to get liver spots!

 

We seem to hold on to things that serve no real purpose.  At one time, we thought they were of value and we may have even gotten some use out of them, but now all they do is take up space and get in the way when we are trying to find something of value.

 

What’s filling up your closet?  What’s been hanging around in there for years that serves no purpose in your life now?  Just as fashion and tastes change when it comes to clothes, so do values and passions when it comes to life.  So take inventory and ask yourself if you still need that excess baggage you’ve been carrying around for years.  Whether it is fear, guilt, or age-old excuses, we can sometimes make these old adversaries our familiar friends.  As long as we keep them hanging around and have the status quo to keep us comforted, we don’t have to take the risk of trying on a new wardrobe.