Deck the Halls

Now that our youngest is able to walk around the house and collect little treasures, Christmas decorating has become a daily routine.  The Advent calendar that my wife bought for the kids is a bare Nativity scene with the little Velcro figures (Olivia calls them “cookies”) spread throughout the house and our Christmas tree, which was once beautifully decorated, is now bare to a height of about 3 feet as the ornaments have slowly migrated up the tree and out of the reach of curious hands.

Of course the actual day of decorating had its usual stresses and blunders.  It literally took about ten trips to the basement to bring up all the decorations – it looked like we were getting ready to move again once everything was upstairs.  Then we got to work on the ginormous 10 foot artificial tree that takes about three weeks to put together with the help of a construction crane.

After completing the tree, I took the empty boxes back downstairs while Sara got to work on the outdoor lights.  We’re not the Grizwalds, but we have a decent amount of exterior illumination and Sara actually enjoys putting the lights up.  I have no problem letting her run with that…

After getting the empty boxes (and a few  boxes of decorations that we never use, but I always carry upstairs, unpack, repack, and take back downstairs) back in the basement, I went out to check on Sara’s progress.  She proudly showed me the routing of her lighting around trees, shrubs, porch rails, columns, and flag poles leading all the way up to the electrical socket on the porch where she held up the wrong end of the plug and asked me if we had an adapter so she could plug it in.  Yep, she started way out in the yard with the end that it supposed to go into the wall and ran the whole thing backwards.

I gave her that look that every husband has given and every wife recognizes.  She still didn’t get it…

I don’t mean to belittle Sara – I’m sure many of you have made this same error and at least she was out there putting up the lights, but there is a good lesson here.  No matter how creatively Sara put up the lights, no matter how good they looked, how hard she worked, or how good her intentions, her plan would fail because she started with the wrong end.  Sometimes we realize that we started in the wrong place and try to correct it by working harder, rationalizing, or simply ignoring our error when what we really need to do is go back to the beginning and look at how our endeavor began.  With Christmas lights, the fix is pretty simple.  With careers, relationships, and life priorities, the required correction can be intimidating, but it is necessary if we want our lives to light up.

 

Stressful Times

While doing some reading for one of my classes, I came across the following summary of a study on workplace stress and aggression:

• 65% of workers said that stress caused physical and physiological difficulties
• 25% view their jobs as the number one stressor in their lives
• 14% reported that they had felt like striking a coworker in the past year, but didn’t (that’s all?)
• 25% felt like screaming or shouting because of job stress
• 10% are concerned about an individual at work they fear could become violent
• 9% are aware of an assault or violent act in their workplace, and 18% had experienced some sort of threat or verbal intimidation in the past year

Generally speaking, we are growing more stressed with each generation.  Why?  Well, first we have to define stress.  The textbook I am using defines stress as “the excitement, feeling of anxiety, and/or physical tension that occurs when demands placed on an individual are thought to exceed the person’s ability to cope.”  Technically this is distress or negative stress. 

There is such a thing as positive stress and that is the stress that pushes us to perform at optimum levels.  Here’s my take.  One reason so many people feel distress is because they introduce demands in their lives that are not in alignment with their talents and passions while neglecting the opportunities they are uniquely gifted to pursue.

Think about the things that are causing negative stress in your life.  Are these the things that you are really excited about or annoying responsibilities that “have to be done?”  Do they fully employ your talents and skills or do they require you to forsake your gifts in order to do something that makes you feel inadequate?

There are many stress reduction techniques (prayer, meditation, yoga, exercise, etc.) and they have been proven to help people reduce their stress level.  Those are fine, but what if, instead of trying to cope with some of the major stressors in your life, you made some real changes and started pursuing the things in life that are really important to you?  There will still be stress, but there will be much less distress.

 

Cleaning Out the Closet

 

I finally got around to cleaning out my closet a couple of weeks ago.  Determined to be more aggressive this time around, I finally got rid of some of the clothes that I have not worn at all since the previous 3 closet-cleaning efforts. Perhaps it’s because throwing out the old stuff is a mental concession to the fact that time is passing by all too quickly.

 

For example, I found some college t-shirts with the year 1993 on them.  Yes, that means some of the items in my closet are old enough to drive!  My wife gives me a hard time about my antique clothing, but she still has her threadbare Space Camp t-shirt (which she still wears).  I think it is from when she went to Space Camp in the 5^th grade – both a testament to her pack-rat behavior and geekdom.  I won’t reveal what year she was in the 5^th grade, but let’s just say the shirt is starting to get liver spots!

 

We seem to hold on to things that serve no real purpose.  At one time, we thought they were of value and we may have even gotten some use out of them, but now all they do is take up space and get in the way when we are trying to find something of value.

 

What’s filling up your closet?  What’s been hanging around in there for years that serves no purpose in your life now?  Just as fashion and tastes change when it comes to clothes, so do values and passions when it comes to life.  So take inventory and ask yourself if you still need that excess baggage you’ve been carrying around for years.  Whether it is fear, guilt, or age-old excuses, we can sometimes make these old adversaries our familiar friends.  As long as we keep them hanging around and have the status quo to keep us comforted, we don’t have to take the risk of trying on a new wardrobe.

 

Where’s My Jet Pack?

Remember all of those science fiction movies that took place in the distant future and featured flying cars, post-apocalyptic leather chaps (Mad Max), robotic butlers, and ray guns, yet still maintained the mulleted and feathered hairstyles of the 70’s and 80’s?  I thought it would be interesting to check out when these events in the distant future were to take place… no really; I did think that would be interesting.  Here are a few popular Sci-Fi movies/television shows and the date in which they were set:

 

·         Escape from New York – 1997

·         2001:  A Space Odyssey – I think you can guess that one

·         Blade Runner & The Running Man – 2019 (only 10 years away… seems like the Y2K scare was just yesterday)

·         Lost in Space – 1997

·         Star Wars – A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away

·         1984 – I know it’s a satire, not sci-fi… but it has talking animals.  Oh, and it took place in 1984.

·         Strange Days – 1999

·         Terminator 2 – 1997

·         Transformers the Movie (Animated) – 2005

·         Project Moonbase – 1970

·         Timecop – 2004

·         Death Race 2000 – Take a guess

 

Where’s my jetpack?  Here we are in 2009, twelve years after Will Robinson and his family took a wrong turn in their Jupiter II, and I still don’t have a personal spacecraft, a metallic flight suit, or a robot that dispenses a nutritious meal replacement supplement.

 

The point here is that time has a way of going by faster than we anticipate.  Back in 1965, when Lost in Space came out, the year 1997 seemed like the unimaginable future (it would be equivalent to 2041 to us now).  All of those spaceships and robots seemed perfectly plausible 32 years in the future. 

 

What did we actually get in 1997?  Vanna White got new touch letters so that she wouldn’t have to turn them, IBM’s Deep Blue became the first computer to defeat a human world champion in chess, the Dow topped 7,000 for the first time ever (a remarkable sign of growth that would be repeated… last week), and the Treasury Department unveiled a new $50 bill.  Somehow this falls short of the anticipated advances.

 

The point I am trying to make is that the future keeps becoming today.  If there is something important you want to do with your time, talent, and passions, you’d better get started soon.  Don’t wait until you retire, the kids are off to school, or you get that anticipated promotion.  By then, who knows where the world will be?  Vanna may have a remote control that allows her to light up the letters from her Hoveround and the Dow may reach some crazy number like 10,000.  Hey we can dream, can’t we? 

 

‘Twas the Post Before Christmas

 

‘Twas the post before Christmas,

            with no gift for my spouse

My mind was whirring,

            not another lame blouse;

 

The stockings were hung

            by the chimney like a dare,

In hopes that by morning

            they’d be filled with more than just air.

 

The children just wrestled

            with the thoughts in our heads,

We’ll buy them some gifts

            if there’s a rate cut by the Feds;

 

Ma, with spit up on her kerchief

            had the baby in her lap,

As I began to frown

            at a gift I could not wrap-

 

It was almost dawn

            when I heard a little patter,

I wanted to stay in bed

            but the kids began to chatter.

 

I looked out the window

            and there was not even a dash,

Of light on the gutters

            I felt my teeth gnash.

 

I lazily got dressed

            more slowly than slow,

I wanted nothing more

            than a large cup of joe;

 

When, what to my wandering eyes

            should appear,

 But my daughter’s little face

            that filled me with cheer,

 

With little bright eyes

            and a smile laid on thick,

I knew in a moment

            she’d done just the trick.

 

More rapid than eagles

            the gifts all became

Scattered, strewn, and ripped open,

            so I jumped in the game-

 

Now, Barbies!  Now, Books!

            And toy bowls to mix in!

On, Cars!  On, Trucks!

            And football helmets to blitz in!

 

Now under the tree,

            the children all crawl,

To tear into the remaining gifts,

            and just have a ball!

 

I know deep inside

            no matter how hard I try,

Most of the gifts will be forgotten,

            before next July.

 

So what can I give?

            It must be true,

A great gift for your children-

            is the gift of you.

 

And then in a instant,

            I realized my goof

If you don’t believe me

            here is the proof.

 

The toys and the presents

            that lay on the ground,

Were nothing compared

            to the gift that I’d found.

 

When looking for gifts

            to lay at your child’s foot,

Try giving something that won’t tarnish

            and will always stay put.

 

A bundle of toys

            are not what kids lack,

They need time with their parents

            without a panic attack.

 

My eyes they now twinkled!

            My future less scary!

I knew what was important,

            and had been living contrary!

Careers are less important

            than children we know,

Yet we spend most our time

            making more dough!

 

We work very hard

and give ourselves grief,

But this just piles up more

money to bequeath.

 

I’ll spend time with my kids

            and savor peanut butter and jelly,

Instead of only paying attention

            when diapers are smelly.

 

I’ll ignore selfish ambition-

            putting my ego on a shelf,

And focus on something other

            than the advancement of myself.

 

This Christmas will not be filled

            with anxiety and dread,

But with peace and meaning

            and purpose instead.

 

I will not waste my life

            focused solely on work,

High-strung and stressed out;

            and acting like a jerk.

 

So don’t be the person

            who sticks up their nose,

At the brave few

            who find some repose.

 

Even though this world

            is filled with thorn and thistle,

There is no need

            to shoot through it like a missile.

 

Stay true and stay strong

            and fight the good fight,

Remember what Christmas is about

            and you’ll be alright!

 

Excess Baggage

 

 

My wife and I welcomed our second daughter into the world just over two months ago.  With a 3 year old and a 2 month old, we are beginning to understand why people actually think that mini-vans are a good idea.  I’m not getting one, but I understand.

 

Maybe my memory is a bit cloudy but it seems like when I was a kid, my sister and I just piled into the back of the Buick and off we went.  Car seats?  I guess those weren’t invented yet.  Back in those days, we didn’t even wear seatbelts.  Half of the long trips were spent sitting on our knees looking out the rear window or trying to get comfortable enough to sleep on the floorboard without the hump causing sclerosis.

 

Nowadays things are different.  Our two car seats look like they were designed by NASA.  They take up the entire back seat and by what I can tell from the car seat laws, they will continue to do so for the next six years.  The stroller for our infant unfolds to approximately the size of a Geo Metro and any additional space in the car is quickly consumed by toys, diapers, wipes, food, etc.  Oh yeah, and don’t forget the DVD player and two monitors (one for each kid).  I was one of those parents who said I would never use a DVD player to mindlessly entertain my child in the car… then I took a two year old on a 6 hour road trip.  We now have DVD players.

 

The catch here is half the stuff we cram into the vehicle never gets used. We simply pack it in “just in case”.  As a society, our lives are following the same pattern.  We now have access to more information, more entertainment, more people, more activities, more hobbies… more everything.  We have to be careful not to dilute our lives to the point that we do a little bit of everything and not much of anything.

 

As this year closes, this is a time for renewal and making plans for the upcoming year.  Each year, I make a list of goals and break it down into things that I want to accomplish on a monthly basis throughout the year (I know – I’m an engineer, I can’t help it).

 

This year, I’m making an additional list.  I’m making a list of all the things that I am not going to do.  I encourage you to do the same.  Make 2009 a year of simplification and focus.  It’s great to have big plans and grand intentions, but if you don’t eliminate all the junk that prevents you from doing the most important things, you’ll just be spinning your wheels wondering where all the time went.   So go ahead and give yourself permission not to do all of those things that pull you away from doing what is important.

 

What’s Really Most Important to You?

Take a minute and ask yourself what you would be willing to die for.  Whoa, that’s a big question to get hit with right off the bat!  But think about it.  For what would you willingly give your life?  Have you thought of few things?   

 

Now, what would you be willing to live for?  Well… they should be the same things, right?  If you would be willing to sacrifice your life for something, it only stands to reason that you would be willing to live for that same thing on a daily basis.

 

What were you thinking of when asked what you would be willing to die for.  The typical answers are your family, close friends, religious beliefs, your country, social justice, etc.  Did any of you think you would be willing to die for your career, a promotion, a raise, a bigger house, or a new car?  Of course not – that’s ridiculous, right?

 

Now, what do you really live for?  I’m not talking about the rare occasions where you get to take center stage for your noble cause.  What do you live for on the average, run-of-the-mill day?  If you’re like most people, you’re probably focusing your efforts on those very things that you would never be willing to die for.  Don’t you see how we’ve got this totally mixed up?

 

When you live for the things that you would be willing to die for, your life becomes filled with your passion for those things.  But most of us chose to place our daily efforts on our careers and our own selfish ambition.  We waste time worrying about our house, our bank accounts, or what other people think about us, leaving little time and energy to dedicate to those things that we said we would be willing to die for.

 

You can only die for something once, but you have the opportunity to live for something every single day.