Do You Have the Charisma to Lead?

This is an excerpt from a book I am reading by Seth Godin (Tribes).

Think about the charismatic leaders you’ve encountered.  They might be young or old, rich or poor, black or white, male or female, extroverted or shy.  In fact, the only thing they seem to have in common is that they are leaders.

I think most people have it upside down.  Being charismatic doesn’t make you a leader.  Being a leader makes you charismatic.

There are leaders with speech impediments and a fear of public speaking.  Leaders way down the corporate ladder and leaders with no money or obvious trappings of power.  There are ugly leaders too, so charisma certainly isn’t about being attractive.

It’s easy to give in to your fear and tell yourself that you don’t have what it takes to lead.  Mostly, people give up when they get to the charisma part of the checklist.  “I wasn’t born charismatic, not like those other guys, so I guess I’ll just settle for following.”

The flaw in this reasoning is that those other guys weren’t born charismatic either.  It’s a choice, not a gene.  Many of you have a vision for how things should be, but fail to act on that vision because you are afraid that you don’t have the mo-jo to get it done.  You are afraid you will come up lacking.  This is the birthplace of procrastination and the cradle for a lack of significance.

 

The Superhero Upstairs

My four year old daughter, Olivia, has been doing some interesting things after we put her to bed at night.  The old routine was for us to take her upstairs, read her one book, say her prayers, give the hugs and kisses, and she would silently drift away.  Not anymore.

In just the past week, I have found her in several interesting situations.  Olivia has had this deal for a few months now where we have to leave her big overhead light on and shut her door when we put her to bed.  I usually go up after an hour or so and find her sound asleep so I open her door and turn out her light.  That hasn’t been the case lately.  She’s been dressing up princess figures until past 11:00, tuning in some sweet jams on her karaoke machine, and playing dress up with her jewelry.

One particular night stands out.  After I walked up the stairs and opened her door I was relieved to find her asleep, but I almost erupted in laughter when I saw her.  She was lying in her bed with a picture of her and her older cousin, Blake, on her lap, adorned with a full complement of necklaces and bracelets, and wearing a cape embroidered with “Princess Olivia”.

I don’t know what motivated this outfit, but I can only imagine that she was dreaming of being a superhero.  Who doesn’t want to be a superhero?  We all pretended to be one when we were kids.  Even adults may watch movies and daydream about what it would be like to be one.  The funny thing is, we daydream about being Superman or Spiderman, yet spend our lives trying to be Clark Kent or Peter Parker.  I omitted Batman because Bruce Wayne would be a significant upgrade for most of us.

Now I realize that as we age, the realities of life begin to erode away at our imaginations as we give in to more “realistic” expectations.  I realize that it may seem more “responsible” to settle for a job with decent benefits and a little security.  I realize that a cape and pair of tights will not enable us to fly, climb buildings, see through walls, or gross $200 million at the box office.  But I also realize that there’s a little girl upstairs who, at least for now, thinks I’m a superhero… and she’s watching.  If I settle for mediocrity – if I limit my existence to the daily routine – she will soon look for a superhero elsewhere.

 

Boating Lessons

 

I am the new owner of my very first boat.  We live close to a large lake and have been thinking about getting a boat for years.  We thought it would be a great way to spend time together as a family and have fun during the long Hotlanta summer.  My wife’s uncle is an avid boater and found out about a good used boat that was available, so we checked it out and decided to take the plunge… bad choice of words.

 

The boat is 24 foot Sea Ray.  If you know anything about boating, you know that a 24 foot boat is a lot to handle for someone whose boating experience consists primarily of captaining a paddle boat with a chocolate lab as his first mate.  It’s sort of like learning to drive with a ’78 Ford LTD. 

 

We just got it last week and I have only been out a couple times.  Both times, I had an experienced boater on board to keep an eye on me.  It’s a good thing because if it were not for the advanced technical help (“Watch out for the dock… turn the other way… put it in gear… keep the bottom side wet”), I would have been in trouble.

 

I love taking the boat out, but I am still pretty terrified.  Did you know those things don’t have brakes?  Not only that, but the “road” is constantly moving below you.  It’s not bad in the open water, but near the docks (when everyone in the marina is watching) I feel like I’m trying to parallel park a Hummer in front of an EPA office.

 

So far I have managed to dock and undock without hitting anything, but I have yet to go out on my own or on the weekend when the boats moving in and out of the marina look like fire ants running around a mound.  I know I am safe while tied up to the dock and am content to putter around on occasion, but boats were not designed to remain attached to docks were they?

 

You guessed it, here is the metaphor.  Where is your boat safely tied up?  Sure I can keep away from embarrassment and stay safe if I keep it in the marina, but then I would miss out on the 40,000 acres of lake just outside my protected cove.  Some of you need to get over your fear of looking like a fool and untie the boat.  You may bump the dock or look like a dork for little while, but very little learning or growth comes without risk.