I Need a Vacation from my Vacation

The family and I rented a cabin in Gatlinburg last weekend.  I remember when vacations were relaxing, fun-filled, and I never wanted them to end.  Then we had two kids.  Don’t get me wrong, we had a great time and I wouldn’t have missed it for anything, but let’s just say by the time I got home, I had my fill of family togetherness.

The 3 ½ hour car ride started out with us getting stuck in road construction.  A short while into the drive, the fuse in the A/C adapter on the kid’s DVD player blew.  With no DVD to watch, Olivia started going through the bag that she packed on her own.  The first thing that she found was her harmonica… which she played for the next two hours.  It was cute for about the first 5 or 10 minutes.  The next 110 minutes… not so cute.  Then Amelia chimed in by crying for the last hour through the mountains.

We got to our cabin and unloaded.  The backseat of our car looked like the floor of a recycling center.  Apparently, Olivia had packed her emergency food reserve as well.  There were Reese’s wrappers, juice boxes, loose change, and various components of toys everywhere.  I don’t know how we missed this during the drive, but Olivia managed to eat a Halloween’s worth of candy during the drive.

Loaded up on sugar, we took the girls to a restaurant.  Olivia was like a squirrel after five cups of coffee.  So much for a relaxing dinner.

The next day, we went out to Cade’s Cove.  If you’ve never been there, it is about a 35 mile drive from Gatlinburg (through slow, winding mountain roads) and once you get there, it is an 11-mile one-lane loop.  People drive slower than a tranquilized sloth on this road.  I guess I’ve been in Atlanta too long, but I couldn’t resist tailgating the minivan in front of me that refused to use the turn-outs to let me by.  Twice they stopped in the middle of the road for about 10 minutes to take pictures of deer.  Deer!  Not bears or mountain scenery, deer – the same animals that you see all the time at home.

The next day, we went to Pigeon Forge where we decided to try the Jurassic Boat Ride.  I paid my 40 bucks and we climbed in the “boat” where we were taken on a ride that will induce nightmares for a 4 year old and had enough noise, special effects, and pitch-black darkness to cause a one year old to cry uncontrollably.  When the ride ended (10 minutes later) the parents all looked at each other as if to say, “Well, there’s $40 I’ll never get back.”

After we got home, Olivia kept talking about how much fun she had and how she couldn’t wait for our next vacation.  With all my frustration and impatience, it took a four year old to help me realize that it was all worth it.

 

Stressful Times

While doing some reading for one of my classes, I came across the following summary of a study on workplace stress and aggression:

• 65% of workers said that stress caused physical and physiological difficulties
• 25% view their jobs as the number one stressor in their lives
• 14% reported that they had felt like striking a coworker in the past year, but didn’t (that’s all?)
• 25% felt like screaming or shouting because of job stress
• 10% are concerned about an individual at work they fear could become violent
• 9% are aware of an assault or violent act in their workplace, and 18% had experienced some sort of threat or verbal intimidation in the past year

Generally speaking, we are growing more stressed with each generation.  Why?  Well, first we have to define stress.  The textbook I am using defines stress as “the excitement, feeling of anxiety, and/or physical tension that occurs when demands placed on an individual are thought to exceed the person’s ability to cope.”  Technically this is distress or negative stress. 

There is such a thing as positive stress and that is the stress that pushes us to perform at optimum levels.  Here’s my take.  One reason so many people feel distress is because they introduce demands in their lives that are not in alignment with their talents and passions while neglecting the opportunities they are uniquely gifted to pursue.

Think about the things that are causing negative stress in your life.  Are these the things that you are really excited about or annoying responsibilities that “have to be done?”  Do they fully employ your talents and skills or do they require you to forsake your gifts in order to do something that makes you feel inadequate?

There are many stress reduction techniques (prayer, meditation, yoga, exercise, etc.) and they have been proven to help people reduce their stress level.  Those are fine, but what if, instead of trying to cope with some of the major stressors in your life, you made some real changes and started pursuing the things in life that are really important to you?  There will still be stress, but there will be much less distress.

 

The Superhero Upstairs

My four year old daughter, Olivia, has been doing some interesting things after we put her to bed at night.  The old routine was for us to take her upstairs, read her one book, say her prayers, give the hugs and kisses, and she would silently drift away.  Not anymore.

In just the past week, I have found her in several interesting situations.  Olivia has had this deal for a few months now where we have to leave her big overhead light on and shut her door when we put her to bed.  I usually go up after an hour or so and find her sound asleep so I open her door and turn out her light.  That hasn’t been the case lately.  She’s been dressing up princess figures until past 11:00, tuning in some sweet jams on her karaoke machine, and playing dress up with her jewelry.

One particular night stands out.  After I walked up the stairs and opened her door I was relieved to find her asleep, but I almost erupted in laughter when I saw her.  She was lying in her bed with a picture of her and her older cousin, Blake, on her lap, adorned with a full complement of necklaces and bracelets, and wearing a cape embroidered with “Princess Olivia”.

I don’t know what motivated this outfit, but I can only imagine that she was dreaming of being a superhero.  Who doesn’t want to be a superhero?  We all pretended to be one when we were kids.  Even adults may watch movies and daydream about what it would be like to be one.  The funny thing is, we daydream about being Superman or Spiderman, yet spend our lives trying to be Clark Kent or Peter Parker.  I omitted Batman because Bruce Wayne would be a significant upgrade for most of us.

Now I realize that as we age, the realities of life begin to erode away at our imaginations as we give in to more “realistic” expectations.  I realize that it may seem more “responsible” to settle for a job with decent benefits and a little security.  I realize that a cape and pair of tights will not enable us to fly, climb buildings, see through walls, or gross $200 million at the box office.  But I also realize that there’s a little girl upstairs who, at least for now, thinks I’m a superhero… and she’s watching.  If I settle for mediocrity – if I limit my existence to the daily routine – she will soon look for a superhero elsewhere.

 

Class is in Session

I am now elbow deep in my MBA classes as well as teaching math at a nearby college.  It is becoming more and more obvious that academics is the place for me.  My job doesn’t feel like work at all.  I enjoy interacting with the students and am honored to have the opportunity to make a difference in their lives.  I don’t get up dreading the day.  I don’t spend my whole week yearning for the weekend to come.  I don’t feel like I am compromising my time and talents just to make a buck.

I spent most of my early career hating my job.  I just want everyone to know – it doesn’t have to be that way.  You can let your gifts, talents, and discernment offer some guidance, but you also have to rely on guidance that is not within yourself.  You have to take a chance.  You have to be “irresponsible” sometimes and give up the “security” of your current lifestyle.

I’ll have more on this later, but for now I have to do some studying.

 

The End of Summer?

Put away your white shoes, Labor Day has provided the unofficial closing of the summer season.  We look forward to summer every year, but by August, I’m usually ready for some cooler weather, fall colors, and football.  Then again, it seems like summer just got here.  I haven’t done a poll in a while, so I am curious to know your thoughts on the waning summer season.

 

Empty the Tank

 

I competed in another 5K sponsored by my church Saturday and ran personal best (21:53).  Despite consistently improving my times, I noted something interesting during this race… I always feel like there is just a little bit left in the tank.

 

It’s weird because I’ve run enough races now that I know I will think this after I cross the finish line.  With this foreknowledge, I always try be cognizant of my need to push harder during the race.  So I push.  I feel like I’m giving it all I’ve got. 

 

During last weekend’s race, I took longer strides on the downhill portions instead of coasting and I tried to keep my pace up on the uphill portions.  On the last climb, I felt like my legs were turning into jelly, my lungs were on fire, and my breakfast would be presented to the crowd at the finish line.

 

During the race, I felt like I was giving all I had.  But then the race ended.

 

Within one minute of completion, my breathing returned to normal, my legs strengthened, and my breakfast was being comfortably digested.  Just one minute after pushing myself to the limit, I felt like I had more to give.

 

Isn’t this true in so many other areas of our lives?  When we begin to dwell on our discomfort, challenges, or obstacles we can develop a level of self-pity that tells us we deserve a break.  We worked harder than that guy over there, right?

 

George Bernard Shaw said, “I want to be all used up when I die.”  I like that.  Sooner or later, we’re all going to cross the finish line.  I know I don’t want to feel like I left anything in the tank.

 

Everyone Poops

There will be no metaphorical tie-ins with today’s posting.  Although I could think of some applications, this is just a posting about a subject that we all deal with but never discuss.

 

As the parent of two children and a dog owner, it seems that I spend an inordinate amount of time dealing with poop – changing my one year old’s diaper, helping my four year old after she takes care of business, getting the shovel out for my chocolate lab two or three times a day (I think her dog food is made from little nuggets of Fiber One bars).  My oldest is now at the age where she can even carry out in-depth, philosophical conversations on poop.

 

“Everybody poops, daddy.”

 

“Yes they do.”

 

“I like to go poopie.”

 

“That’s good, Olivia.”

 

“I want to poop in the yard like Maggie.”

 

“Huh?”

 

You probably didn’t want to read a poop-posting and I apologize if you are reading this on your lunch break, but last Wednesday was simply pooptastic.  It started in a restaurant with my family.  It was a pretty quiet night and with our two little girls, we were the center of attention in the dining area.

 

Twice during our meal Olivia loudly proclaimed, “I tooted!”  This was followed by, “I need to go potty.”

 

She does this at restaurants occasionally just to get to walk around and see all the other people, so we asked if she really had to go.

 

“Yep.  I have to go poopie!”

 

…stares from around the room.

 

Once we got home, the girls needed a bath.  Both were in the tub when I noticed an underwater mine floating near the baby’s stern.  Of course this terrified Olivia, who pointed with wide eyes screaming, “POOP!”

 

I handed the girls to my wife, who relocated them to another tub while I bleached the bathtub and the four thousand bath toys that were in it.  Afterwards, Sara was getting the girls dressed while I rinsed bath toy number 3,998.

 

That’s when I heard Sara say, “Amelia, nooooo!”

 

Apparently, the task was not completed in the tub.  Amelia was crawling around naked while my wife got Olivia dressed.  During her naked crawling, Amelia made a few more deposits on the carpet (four to be exact – she must have gotten into the dog food) .  Of course, this went unnoticed until she crawled through one of them, leaving a poop trail on the floor.

 

Like I said… pooptastic.

 

Principle of the Path

I am facilitating a study for a group of college students in which we are going through Andy Stanley’s The Principle of the Path.  Basically stated, the principle is as follows:

Direction – not intent – determines our destination.

When we consider this in terms of navigation, it is pretty simple and straightforward.  If we choose to follow a particular road, we will go where that road leads.  Regardless of our race, color, creed, gender, education, or needs, a road leads where it leads without considering the one who is traveling it.

If we get lost, our problems do not end when we discover that we are on the wrong road.  When we stop and ask for directions, we don’t need someone to tell us that we are lost.  We need to discover which roads lead to our preferred destination.

As obvious as this principle is, we see it ignored all the time.  People who eat junk and don’t exercise end up with poor health.  People who spend more money than they earn end up in financial distress (unless they qualify for a bail out).  You get the idea.  It seems that humans have a tendency to choose paths that lead in directions that we don’t want to go.

Here’s the kicker – we’re always on a path.  Right now, you are following the path that you have chosen and you will eventually go where that path leads.  Where is you path leading you?

 

Meet Your New Teacher

A while back I put up a posting about establishing a Business as Missions enterprise.  I have since enrolled in school to complete my MBA and now another piece of the puzzle is falling into place.

I have always thought that I would enjoy teaching.  The thing I enjoyed most in my corporate career was conducting training and teaching.  Though I never really did much to cultivate this interest, it blossomed again on my trips to Belarus to teach English.  Upon returning from the last trip, I even remarked to Sara how much I enjoy teaching.

I thought about it some more and decided to seek out a career in teaching.  Even though I lack a teaching certificate, I thought that with my engineering background and the teacher shortage that we always heard about prior to the recession, I would be a shoe-in to teach high school Calculus or Physics.  Well… cracking the shell of the public school system is not exactly easy without a teaching certificate in Georgia.

This is where I finally put two and two together.  I am already planning on going back to school for a Master’s degree in business and there are plenty of teaching opportunities at the college level.  Hey, it couldn’t hurt to look.  Shortly after this realization, I found out I was on our church’s budget and finance team with an accounting professor at a local college.  She told me about a possible teaching opportunity in the math department.  This was only a couple of weeks before the fall semester was to begin, so I was really interviewing more for the spring.

I didn’t really know what my chances were, but for the first time in a really long time I was very excited about a new direction in my career.  I got a call from the chair of the math department last week.  Due to heavy demand, they are adding a class and beginning this fall (next Monday actually), I will be teaching a college mathematics course.  My goal is to eventually become a tenure-track professor, but I have a lot more schooling to undergo before that can occur.

I think this will be a great compliment to my desire to establish a BAM.  I will get to leverage my educational background and contacts to help others establish businesses and I’ll get some great real world experience that will help me teach my students.  I guess I’m writing this to let you know that although it may take a while and there may be many roadblocks, it is worth the effort to keep plugging away in your search to discover your mission.  Too many people get discouraged and give up.  They settle on doing what is familiar to them day after day and dreaming about retirement.

God has a purpose for your life.  Ignoring that purpose for the sake of your present comfort will never allow you to find significance.

 

Running the Race

I had my first 5k of the season last Saturday. Based on the considerable loss of stomach contents as I battled a stomach bug earlier in the week, I wasn’t sure what to expect.

 

I started running regularly about a year ago. Back then, my main goal was simply to finish the race and not get beat by too many girls. After a couple of races, I found that I was becoming more competitive and started taking it a little more seriously. I also found out that there are some very fast girl runners and I can’t even hope to keep up with them. I finished last year with second and third place finishes in my age group. Emboldened by my improving race times, I went into Saturday’s race with two objectives:

1. Finish in under 23 minutes

2. Win 1st place in my age group

 

Although my personal best time was 23:20, I thought beating 23 minutes was a reasonable objective. The feasibility of reaching the second goal was a little more difficult to predict. You never know who will show up in your age group, so you could run your personal best and not even place. Alternatively, you could have a horrible outing but still go home with a medal if the others in your age group are competitively challenged.

 

I had a good day. I ran a new personal best at 22:40 and won my age group. As a side note, my time of 22:40 is quite respectable but don’t be too impressed – the overall winners (typically high school cross country runners) are usually below 18 minutes. By the time I cross the finish line they are already on their way to their second race of the day.

 

So… I ran a personal best and I won my group. Now what?

 

I guess I could always shoot for a faster time, but I realize that I’m not getting any younger and eventually those times will start heading the other direction. I could set a new goal of getting an overall win, but I’m not insane. I am very much a goal-oriented person, so just running for the sake of running is not an option. So what will my new goal be?

 

I realized my running is falling into the same pattern as my professional career that I wrote about in my book. My race times are taking the place of my salary and my finishing position is taking the place of my job title. It’s amazing how pervasive this addiction to success can be. While there’s nothing wrong with aspirations, when I have a goal I feel like I HAVE to accomplish it and I’m not really good with losing.

 

This got me to thinking… while I did win my age group and run below my target time, I didn’t even come close to the overall winner. In that respect, I decisively lost the race. Out there, somewhere, will always be a faster runner, a higher paid manager, a greener lawn, a cleaner house, a smarter student, or a more humble servant. Our primary goal – the one that will bring the most satisfaction – is not be the first person to finish the race. Rather, we should continually assess our lives to make sure that we “run with endurance the race set before us.” I firmly believe that if we are running someone else’s race not even victory will bring fulfillment.