What Did You Do With Your Extra Hour?

There was a time in my life when rewinding of the clocks by one hour in the fall represented an extra hour of sleep.  Unfortunately my two little girls can’t tell time.  I was up a little before 6 am this Sunday to put milk in a cup, a S’mores Pop Tart on a plate, and to turn on Little Einsteins. 

It was still dark.

That’s fine with me.  I’m usually an early riser and the whole getting an extra hour to get stuff done is fascinating to me.  I spent my hour making spreadsheets for one of my MBA classes… exciting, I know.

I don’t like the sun going down earlier, but I love the one 25 hour day of the year.  As I go through the house turning those clocks back, I feel like I have somehow cheated the space-time continuum.  I feel so much more efficient and wonder why every day can’t be 25 hours long.

Aside from the fact that this would require the rotation of the earth to slow substantially, I’m not sure if it would be such a good thing.  Although I got a lot done and felt great all day long, I woke myself with a loud snore in my chair at 9:15 that night.

Maybe more time isn’t the answer.  It seems that my mind and body can only take a 24 hour day.

 

Do You Have the Charisma to Lead?

This is an excerpt from a book I am reading by Seth Godin (Tribes).

Think about the charismatic leaders you’ve encountered.  They might be young or old, rich or poor, black or white, male or female, extroverted or shy.  In fact, the only thing they seem to have in common is that they are leaders.

I think most people have it upside down.  Being charismatic doesn’t make you a leader.  Being a leader makes you charismatic.

There are leaders with speech impediments and a fear of public speaking.  Leaders way down the corporate ladder and leaders with no money or obvious trappings of power.  There are ugly leaders too, so charisma certainly isn’t about being attractive.

It’s easy to give in to your fear and tell yourself that you don’t have what it takes to lead.  Mostly, people give up when they get to the charisma part of the checklist.  “I wasn’t born charismatic, not like those other guys, so I guess I’ll just settle for following.”

The flaw in this reasoning is that those other guys weren’t born charismatic either.  It’s a choice, not a gene.  Many of you have a vision for how things should be, but fail to act on that vision because you are afraid that you don’t have the mo-jo to get it done.  You are afraid you will come up lacking.  This is the birthplace of procrastination and the cradle for a lack of significance.

 

My Daughter the Philanthropist

I have a coffee mug on the window sill in my closet where I throw loose change at the end of the day.  It was just about full, so my wife emptied it into a larger jar.  No big deal, right?

Well once my four year-old daughter discovered my coffee mug was empty, she started acting faster than Congress with a bailout check.  Olivia ran into the living room, where I was watching football and muttered something about change and a coffee cup.  I had no idea what was going on.  She ran up to her room where I heard some banging around, her incessant rambling, and the sound of loose change pouring in to the floor.  Then she ran past me and into my closet.

This process repeated itself about 4 or 5 times until she finally came downstairs with her whole piggy bank.  That’s when I realized what was going on.  I walked to my closet to find her sitting in the floor, shaking out her piggy bank, and filling up my coffee cup.  Moved by her generosity, I told her that she didn’t have to give me her money.

Her reply was, “No daddy.  I have enough money and you don’t have any.  You can have some of mine.”

I almost told her to stop emptying her piggy bank and keep her money for herself, but didn’t.  Here was a simple, honest act of generosity.  Who am I to stifle that?  I thanked her for giving me her money and let her know how nice it was for her to give me something without me even asking for it.

Usually parenting involves taking the time to teach valuable lessons to our children.  Sometimes they are the teachers.

 

Freedom of Choice?

Our culture is inundated with choices. Want a new TV? Look at how many models are available. Plasma, LCD, or LED… 19”, 60”, or anything in-between… 120 Hz, 240 Hz, 760i, 1080p, 1080i…LG, Samsung, Sharp, Toshiba, Vizio, Sony, Panasonic…and where should we buy it?

Growing up, I had 5 television channels and two of them showed the same thing. Now, I don’t even know how many channels I have. I have to set up my “favorites” on my remote… more choices. If you still need evidence that the number of options available to us has gotten excessive, just take a look at the cereal aisle the next time you go to the supermarket. To make it even more interesting, take a four year-old who has just been watching Nickelodeon.

Not only are there a seemingly infinite number of choices available, but we are daily bombarded with marketing that tells us that there is an option out there somewhere that is just right for us – one that will make us happy. So you better make the right choice, or you’ll end up regretting your decision when you find a better option down the road.

The problem with having so many options and making so many choices is that it can easily lead to analysis paralysis. We want to make the right choice, but there are so many options and we don’t want regret our decision… so we make no choice. We procrastinate.

The same dynamic exists in our careers. I read an article a while back that said the anticipated top 10 in-demand jobs in 2010 didn’t even exist 5 years ago. Think about that. As we have more choices in what to do with our lives, people are increasingly deciding to do nothing – at least nothing significant.

Here’s what I think. Instead of beating yourself up on where you will work, focus on what it is that you were created, gifted, and prepared to do. Guess what – that thing that you were created to do may have nothing to do with your current job, but that doesn’t mean you have to quit your job tomorrow. It just means you have to figure out how to incorporate your mission into your job. Or maybe, just maybe, you were meant to find significance outside of your professional career. What??? A life outside of work? Yep, the most important things you will do, the greatest significance you will find, and the most lasting legacy you leave will probably not be career-related.

 

I Need a Vacation from my Vacation

The family and I rented a cabin in Gatlinburg last weekend.  I remember when vacations were relaxing, fun-filled, and I never wanted them to end.  Then we had two kids.  Don’t get me wrong, we had a great time and I wouldn’t have missed it for anything, but let’s just say by the time I got home, I had my fill of family togetherness.

The 3 ½ hour car ride started out with us getting stuck in road construction.  A short while into the drive, the fuse in the A/C adapter on the kid’s DVD player blew.  With no DVD to watch, Olivia started going through the bag that she packed on her own.  The first thing that she found was her harmonica… which she played for the next two hours.  It was cute for about the first 5 or 10 minutes.  The next 110 minutes… not so cute.  Then Amelia chimed in by crying for the last hour through the mountains.

We got to our cabin and unloaded.  The backseat of our car looked like the floor of a recycling center.  Apparently, Olivia had packed her emergency food reserve as well.  There were Reese’s wrappers, juice boxes, loose change, and various components of toys everywhere.  I don’t know how we missed this during the drive, but Olivia managed to eat a Halloween’s worth of candy during the drive.

Loaded up on sugar, we took the girls to a restaurant.  Olivia was like a squirrel after five cups of coffee.  So much for a relaxing dinner.

The next day, we went out to Cade’s Cove.  If you’ve never been there, it is about a 35 mile drive from Gatlinburg (through slow, winding mountain roads) and once you get there, it is an 11-mile one-lane loop.  People drive slower than a tranquilized sloth on this road.  I guess I’ve been in Atlanta too long, but I couldn’t resist tailgating the minivan in front of me that refused to use the turn-outs to let me by.  Twice they stopped in the middle of the road for about 10 minutes to take pictures of deer.  Deer!  Not bears or mountain scenery, deer – the same animals that you see all the time at home.

The next day, we went to Pigeon Forge where we decided to try the Jurassic Boat Ride.  I paid my 40 bucks and we climbed in the “boat” where we were taken on a ride that will induce nightmares for a 4 year old and had enough noise, special effects, and pitch-black darkness to cause a one year old to cry uncontrollably.  When the ride ended (10 minutes later) the parents all looked at each other as if to say, “Well, there’s $40 I’ll never get back.”

After we got home, Olivia kept talking about how much fun she had and how she couldn’t wait for our next vacation.  With all my frustration and impatience, it took a four year old to help me realize that it was all worth it.

 

Stressful Times

While doing some reading for one of my classes, I came across the following summary of a study on workplace stress and aggression:

• 65% of workers said that stress caused physical and physiological difficulties
• 25% view their jobs as the number one stressor in their lives
• 14% reported that they had felt like striking a coworker in the past year, but didn’t (that’s all?)
• 25% felt like screaming or shouting because of job stress
• 10% are concerned about an individual at work they fear could become violent
• 9% are aware of an assault or violent act in their workplace, and 18% had experienced some sort of threat or verbal intimidation in the past year

Generally speaking, we are growing more stressed with each generation.  Why?  Well, first we have to define stress.  The textbook I am using defines stress as “the excitement, feeling of anxiety, and/or physical tension that occurs when demands placed on an individual are thought to exceed the person’s ability to cope.”  Technically this is distress or negative stress. 

There is such a thing as positive stress and that is the stress that pushes us to perform at optimum levels.  Here’s my take.  One reason so many people feel distress is because they introduce demands in their lives that are not in alignment with their talents and passions while neglecting the opportunities they are uniquely gifted to pursue.

Think about the things that are causing negative stress in your life.  Are these the things that you are really excited about or annoying responsibilities that “have to be done?”  Do they fully employ your talents and skills or do they require you to forsake your gifts in order to do something that makes you feel inadequate?

There are many stress reduction techniques (prayer, meditation, yoga, exercise, etc.) and they have been proven to help people reduce their stress level.  Those are fine, but what if, instead of trying to cope with some of the major stressors in your life, you made some real changes and started pursuing the things in life that are really important to you?  There will still be stress, but there will be much less distress.

 

The Superhero Upstairs

My four year old daughter, Olivia, has been doing some interesting things after we put her to bed at night.  The old routine was for us to take her upstairs, read her one book, say her prayers, give the hugs and kisses, and she would silently drift away.  Not anymore.

In just the past week, I have found her in several interesting situations.  Olivia has had this deal for a few months now where we have to leave her big overhead light on and shut her door when we put her to bed.  I usually go up after an hour or so and find her sound asleep so I open her door and turn out her light.  That hasn’t been the case lately.  She’s been dressing up princess figures until past 11:00, tuning in some sweet jams on her karaoke machine, and playing dress up with her jewelry.

One particular night stands out.  After I walked up the stairs and opened her door I was relieved to find her asleep, but I almost erupted in laughter when I saw her.  She was lying in her bed with a picture of her and her older cousin, Blake, on her lap, adorned with a full complement of necklaces and bracelets, and wearing a cape embroidered with “Princess Olivia”.

I don’t know what motivated this outfit, but I can only imagine that she was dreaming of being a superhero.  Who doesn’t want to be a superhero?  We all pretended to be one when we were kids.  Even adults may watch movies and daydream about what it would be like to be one.  The funny thing is, we daydream about being Superman or Spiderman, yet spend our lives trying to be Clark Kent or Peter Parker.  I omitted Batman because Bruce Wayne would be a significant upgrade for most of us.

Now I realize that as we age, the realities of life begin to erode away at our imaginations as we give in to more “realistic” expectations.  I realize that it may seem more “responsible” to settle for a job with decent benefits and a little security.  I realize that a cape and pair of tights will not enable us to fly, climb buildings, see through walls, or gross $200 million at the box office.  But I also realize that there’s a little girl upstairs who, at least for now, thinks I’m a superhero… and she’s watching.  If I settle for mediocrity – if I limit my existence to the daily routine – she will soon look for a superhero elsewhere.

 

Class is in Session

I am now elbow deep in my MBA classes as well as teaching math at a nearby college.  It is becoming more and more obvious that academics is the place for me.  My job doesn’t feel like work at all.  I enjoy interacting with the students and am honored to have the opportunity to make a difference in their lives.  I don’t get up dreading the day.  I don’t spend my whole week yearning for the weekend to come.  I don’t feel like I am compromising my time and talents just to make a buck.

I spent most of my early career hating my job.  I just want everyone to know – it doesn’t have to be that way.  You can let your gifts, talents, and discernment offer some guidance, but you also have to rely on guidance that is not within yourself.  You have to take a chance.  You have to be “irresponsible” sometimes and give up the “security” of your current lifestyle.

I’ll have more on this later, but for now I have to do some studying.

 

The End of Summer?

Put away your white shoes, Labor Day has provided the unofficial closing of the summer season.  We look forward to summer every year, but by August, I’m usually ready for some cooler weather, fall colors, and football.  Then again, it seems like summer just got here.  I haven’t done a poll in a while, so I am curious to know your thoughts on the waning summer season.

 

Empty the Tank

 

I competed in another 5K sponsored by my church Saturday and ran personal best (21:53).  Despite consistently improving my times, I noted something interesting during this race… I always feel like there is just a little bit left in the tank.

 

It’s weird because I’ve run enough races now that I know I will think this after I cross the finish line.  With this foreknowledge, I always try be cognizant of my need to push harder during the race.  So I push.  I feel like I’m giving it all I’ve got. 

 

During last weekend’s race, I took longer strides on the downhill portions instead of coasting and I tried to keep my pace up on the uphill portions.  On the last climb, I felt like my legs were turning into jelly, my lungs were on fire, and my breakfast would be presented to the crowd at the finish line.

 

During the race, I felt like I was giving all I had.  But then the race ended.

 

Within one minute of completion, my breathing returned to normal, my legs strengthened, and my breakfast was being comfortably digested.  Just one minute after pushing myself to the limit, I felt like I had more to give.

 

Isn’t this true in so many other areas of our lives?  When we begin to dwell on our discomfort, challenges, or obstacles we can develop a level of self-pity that tells us we deserve a break.  We worked harder than that guy over there, right?

 

George Bernard Shaw said, “I want to be all used up when I die.”  I like that.  Sooner or later, we’re all going to cross the finish line.  I know I don’t want to feel like I left anything in the tank.